We Shook Hands On It!.....hahaha....

Well after a much emotional and teeter tottering type of week we've come to our conclusion. I feel as though I am reading off a jury's decision or something here....We first had decided we were going to just do a donor insemination, then after much research and thoughts we decided that is not an option we want to pursue...

We are going to do IVF with a biopsy. We are planning on doing it in June to give us time to prepare and whatnot. It may be later than that depending on how things go. We want to be as best prepared as possible. Sperm takes 3 months to grow and mature and this gives us time to change eating habits, get healthier and take supplements and take advantage of other types of treatments. I say we because all though I am fine it wouldn't hurt at all to become healthier myself and give myself the best possible welcoming "home" and good eggs for the procedure.

We are going to look into Accupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine as it as been linked to helping with infertility. Not to mention the already 800 supplements that we are already taking!

We are going to look into another doctor's appt to make sure we have all the questions answered and all the possible treatment options available as well as making sure the procedure of the biopsy is the best possible option for looking for sperm.

Jason is going to do another semen analysis once to twice more within these next few months to see if anything has changed. Shit, I'd be thrilled with even a few thousand. We are ok with the IVF it's just the possibility of sperm or no sperm that has us the most worried.

Waiting until we are sure we are ready and have the best possible chance for finding sperm (and of decent quality) will give us the peace for taking the most expensive leap of faith ever!!!!!

If this fails it's going to be heartbreaking and we will take a break for a few years, maybe be put on a waiting list for adoption (since it takes 4-5 years and can be 30k+) . Of course my dream would be to carry a baby and knowing that may never happen makes me sick...something I hate to think about but have to...Who knows maybe do donor embryos....or there may be medical advances or a miracle that happen during that wait...

I'm hoping during this wait/journey I can learn to be happy for others again, learn to not let it hurt me when people discover or talk about thier pregnancies  and learn just alot in general overall with my life.

If anyone has any questions, advice, etc please feel free to share or talk with us. Obviously we aren't ashamed to talk about this journey so we welcome everyone, if we don't feel like talking about it at that certain time believe me we will tell you :) We aren't asking anyone to agree with our decision just for support. We ask for prayers and good thoughts to  guide us through our decision, our journey and most of all that we find sperm!!! :) As always thank you all ~~~~<3

*Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock. - Unknown*